Funny Good Morning Quotes and Images
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You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.
I woke up this morning, and I still don’t believe I won the Daytona 500.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?”
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said “No, I made a few mistakes.”
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.
Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut?
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: “President Can’t Swim.”
That’s the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they’d be like, ‘Yeah, big deal. I’d eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you’re pulling down.’
The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
You wake up in the morning and you look at your old spoon, and you say to yourself, ‘Mick, it’s time to get yourself a new spoon.’ And you do.
When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.